Monday, July 13, 2009

Initiation -- RaHoTep

Dear Ones,

We are the Arcturians. In our last meeting we talked about Initiation, including the secret and sacred Initiation of Human Love. The concept of Initiation can be quite confusing, especially the Initiation of Human Love. Therefore, we wish to share the story of two initiates with you. One is a male, RaHoTep, who will speak of his Initiation in Ancient Egypt and the other is a female, Matia, who will speak of her initiation in Ancient Delphi. Because their stories are quite long, RaHoTep will share his message in this meeting, and Matia will share hers at our next meeting.

All of you have past/parallel realities in which you have passed your initiations and served Gaia as a great Initiate. We present these stories to assist you in better understanding the process of initiation, as well as to ignite your memory of your own “initiation lives.” We know that you have had these initiation lives because we see your aura and because you have found your way to our Corridor. As RaHoTep and Matia tell their stories, allow your own stories of initiation to come to the surface of your consciousness.

In this meeting we introduce RaHoTep:

“Dear Ones, I am happy to share my story with you. As I look at all those in the Corridor, my heart fills with joy to see so many Initiates. I hope that my story will be of some assistance and/or comfort in your own process of being your true, Multidimensional SELF in daily life. Discerning between the illusions of our fears and the Truth of our SELF is a challenge that is more difficult then we might have imagined. Your task is even more challenging, as you must find and complete your great initiations while you are also called upon to complete your daily tasks of survival on the third dimension.

“I lived in a reality where those who showed promise of attaining initiation were sent to the Temple to study. When my parents had my birth chart done, they learned that my destiny was not with them, but with the Temple. Perhaps that is why I never felt love from them in my earliest years. It wasn't until I entered the Temple at five years of age that I experienced the love that a family can offer. I studied and served while I was a child and a young adult. My youth in the Temple was filled with loving instructions and wonderful friends. I knew some in the Temple did not share my feelings, but I loved every minute of it. I felt as though I had finally come home.

“I started my Final Initiation with my first Saturn Return when I was 28 years old. I know that this age may seem very young to you, but I had been in the Temple since I was 7. My teachers told me that they considered me ready to take the Final Initiation, but I would have to wait until I received my inner instructions. I was told to inform them when my Inner Guide, Radula, instructed that it was TIME. This instruction came a short while after my teachers had given their permission. How many lives had I had to prepare for this moment? A rush of vague pictures from these lives ran past my mind's eye. Deep within me I felt a call of destiny not yet manifest. I was excited, as well as frightened.

“I knew that the three possible outcomes from this Initiation were success, insanity, or death. The second two choices were not acceptable to me. Although I was not afraid of death, as I knew it to be only a recess, I felt that I had not yet fulfilled my purpose for incarnation. I did not want all the years of study and work to be for my personal gain alone. Perhaps when my initiations were finished, I would better know what my service was to be.

“At last, the day arrived. The moon was full and I was ready. I had been staying in the quarters located beneath the Sphinx, built especially for those awaiting Initiation. From these quarters, it was only a short walk through the desert to the Great Pyramid where every initiate spent seven days and seven nights deep in the bowels of the Pyramid. These seven days and nights were used to review past lives and lessons. If I passed the first portion, I knew there would be more, but the secret of the rest of the initiation was strictly guarded.

“As expected, I had not been able to sleep the night before. At dawn, three hooded Priests came to my door just when the first rays of the Sun cleared the horizon. No words were exchanged. The Priests led me from my room and into the desert. I had always loved the desert at sunrise and sunset, just when the Sun rose above or dropped below the horizon. The horizons in Egypt were infinite—as infinite as Spirit.

“As I followed the Priests to the Great Pyramid, I reflected on the soft, golden glow of light. As the desert welcomed a new day, I would welcome a new life. I felt a warm anticipation that matched the rapidly approaching heat of the desert. I was at one with all of nature. The vast vistas of my outer world nudged my inner visions to prepare for awakening. The desert was still, as was my mind, and a warm, gentle breeze caressed my face as if to say, “Good luck!”

“I smiled in reply and silently followed the Priests as we entered the Pyramid. Although the Sun had been barely above the horizon when the Priests and I entered the Great Pyramid, I was unprepared for the total darkness that surrounded us. One of the Priests carried a small oil lamp. It was the only thing that I could make out as we moved deeper and deeper into the Great Pyramid. I had learned from my lessons that the total darkness in the pyramid was meant to prepare us to face the darkness inside of ourselves.

“Finally, we arrived at a small wooden door, very simple in design. From the glow of the single lamp, I could see the grains in the wood, a golden latch and a lock hanging open. The Priests would lock me in this room for seven days and seven nights – totally alone. They opened the door, led the way inside and instructed me to sit upon a simple papyrus mat on the stone floor. The oil lamp was placed on a ledge to my right along with a small skin of water.

“'This lamp will burn for only three days and nights. After that you will be in total darkness.'

“These were the first words spoken by the Priests. They said no more. I heard the door close and, with a soft clicking sound, the latch was locked. I closed my eyes and began to meditate. Within those seven days, I reviewed my lessons of that life and all the others. I went into the land of the dead again and again to give penance for any that I had wronged. I reviewed every lesson that I had ever received in any life that I could access. I don't recall the oil lamp flickering out nor reaching for the water. I only remember the soft click of the latch. This first external sound heard in seven days snapped me back into my physical body.

“As the Priests entered the room, I saw their hooded faces over another oil lamp, which one of the Priests held. I slowly nodded to them to show that I was still alive and cognizant. They nodded ever so slightly in response and motioned for me to join them. It took me a while to stand up, and when I did, I could not walk. I leaned against the wall and willed the life force back into my legs that had been crossed in one position for seven days. The Priests took my now empty oil lamp and water-skin from the ledge and waited patiently. When I was able to walk, they led me from the room.

“I didn't know where I was going, but I knew that since I had survived the first part of the initiation, I would be allowed to take the next. The halls within the pyramid were as dark as before, but now my eyes were accustomed to it. The small lamp of my three guides shone like a star for me to follow. The guides walked slowly at first to allow me to get used to my body, but quickened the pace as soon as they knew I could keep up. We moved down, down, and down.

“I had learned that the Final Initiation Room was somewhere deep below the surface of the desert, exactly below the apex of the Great Pyramid. Finally, we came to what appeared to be a dead end. A stone wall was before us. The Priests did not seem dismayed by this turn of events and formed a semi-circle in front of the wall. While I stood off to the side waiting for what would happen next, each of the Priests began to sound a tone, which I thought must surely arise from the core of their Souls.

“At first their toning seemed random. But gradually, a pattern could be discerned until; at last, there was a crescendo of beautiful harmonious tones. As the singing faded into the surrounding darkness, it was replaced with a low rumbling. Gradually, the wall began to move to the right. Behind this simple stone barrier was a pair of magnificent and ornately carved golden doors. As the doors were slowly revealed, I knew that I had seen these doors before in my meditations. One of the Priests approached the golden doors and placed one hand on each door. The doors were so well balanced that with just the slightest push, they swung open into a huge room. The Priests gestured for me to enter. The doors quickly closed behind me. Again, I heard the low rumbling of the wall covering all traces of the sacred initiation room.

“The brilliance of the room blinded me. I had never experienced such illumination while in a physical form. Slowly, slowly, my eyes grew accustomed to the light, and I began to survey the room. This room was not of my Egypt. There were domes and pillars studded with lapis, emeralds, rubies, diamonds, amethyst and jewels I could not identify. Colors I had never seen were painted upon the many carvings, statues and figurines that seemed to move as if they were alive. Somehow I knew that everything within the room was very ancient and had a life force greater than anything I had ever known. This was architecture I'd seen only in my inner journeys to Atlantis.

“The large center dome sheltered a smaller pyramid that was a vibration of light rather than a physical structure. Anubus and Thoth, the ancient Egyptian Gods of Initiation, stood within the pyramid on either side of a large sarcophagus. The sarcophagus was mounted on a stand of pure gold with silver steps leading up the right hand side. The sarcophagus was made of a substance that I had not seen before. I knew instinctively that this substance was not of this planet and had been given to Earth millennia ago by its first inhabitants.

“The sarcophagus was ornately carved in the same non-Egyptian manner as the walls around me. I sensed that although the sarcophagus was opaque, it could become translucent if the proper alterations were made by the observer's mind. Anubus motioned for me to enter the sarcophagus and Thoth nodded in agreement. Again, there was no verbal communication. The journey from the doorway to the silver stairs was the longest journey of my life. As I climbed the few stairs I realized that if, indeed, I lived to descend them, I would not be the same person as before.

“I lay down inside the sarcophagus. The substance was hard as stone and yet smooth and warm as skin. I felt as if I were re-entering the womb. The flat, stark walls seemed to slowly mold themselves around my form as I settled into the sarcophagus. I don't think that I could have moved even if I had chosen to. Then Thoth leaned his head over the edge of the sarcophagus and spoke three questions to me in an unknown language. I did not know what the questions were, but I intuitively knew that they were indeed questions and that my survival depended upon my answering them.

“I sent a call to my Inner Guide, Radula, as I saw the lid of the sarcophagus slowly enclose me in my tomb. Silently the lid was fastened tight to signify my transition. Again, I was alone.

“If I stayed in the tomb too long I would die. There was little oxygen inside, so if I were to keep my physical self alive, I would have to raise my consciousness to the higher dimensions so that I could feed it with Spirit. I knew that I would not be able to leave my body through my third eye as I had done many times before. I searched inside myself for a portal to use to free my Spirit from the confinement of its physical form. I began to feel a deep fear arise within me, but I willed it away. I must not allow myself to experience an emotion that would drop my consciousness!

“'Where is the portal to your Higher SELF?”

“I now understood the first question. I remembered the chanting of the Priests outside the stone door. I could not use my voice, as there was too little oxygen to waste, but I felt the vibration of the toning just as I had with the three Priests. Since my consciousness was not limited to a human voice, I was able to sing all three parts at once. The melody and frequency calmed my fear and further raised my consciousness. I found myself concentrating on a doorway inside my head, at the very core of my brain. As I continued to tone, something solid, like the stone door, began to open, and behind it were the very same golden doors I had seen upon entering this room. These doors opened inward. Once again I stepped through them and felt them quickly close behind me. At first I saw nothing but golden light, which embraced every cell and atom of my form and consciousness.

“Then slowly, off in the distance, I saw a vortex beginning to form. It began to swirl, slowly at first, and then faster and faster. It was gold, silver, blue, violet, and the other colors that I had first seen in the room outside the sarcophagus. I felt a pull to step into the vortex, and with my decision to do so, it was suddenly just before me. I fell into the core of it and found myself spinning faster and faster through timeless space. At first I was dizzy, but then the spin became so intense that I felt totally still, yet at the same time, it felt as if every cell and atom had quickened its vibration in response to the spin. Then, with a pop, my spin stopped and I found myself in the midst of a great void. I had become fifth dimensional and all was calm.

“'Where is the Crystal City?'

“With the second question, there was a golden light before me which became a golden form--my Divine Complement. She came in the form of a woman since I embodied a man. We embraced in deep reunion and love. She looked into my eyes and whispered, 'I will take you Home now'.

“Then we were on Venus. It spread out before us with all the beauty and harmony that I had remembered from deep within my Soul for all of my lives. My heart opened in a burst of Light and Love that would have exploded my earthen body had I been in my third dimensional consciousness. I saw the mists of Venus all about me. I saw the flora and fauna of my beloved Home as they floated about me in loving welcome. With their every movement, harmonious colors and sounds echoed their motions.

“A welcoming party formed a pathway that led us to the main entrance of the Crystal City. My Divine Complement slipped into my form as we became One again for our homecoming. Translucent crystal gates swung wide as we approached them, and a golden path lighted our way to the heart of the city. The Golden Wisdom Temple was set in glimmering splendor at the end of the path on top of a hill. The doors were open, awaiting our entry. Even though we could have instantly willed ourselves to our destination, we enjoyed the journey and the community of others, so we chose to travel in the same swimming/flying motions as those around us.

“Eventually, we found ourselves standing in front of the mighty Sanat Kumara, the Planetary Logos for Earth and Regent of Venus. Rami Nuri and Djwhal Khul, as his advisors, stood on either side of him. The Divine Complements of all three flowed within them. They were androgynous. They were complete!

“I bowed before them and Sanat Kumara handed me a jewel. The jewel was unlike anything I had ever known. It was more a vibration than a substance, yet it had beauty and form. I took the jewel in gratitude and held it within my heart.

“My Complement and I spent what seemed a lifetime on Venus. We lived and loved and died. And then I began to feel a pull. I knew that the pull was my destiny. It was Earth. It was calling me to return to my third dimensional life so that I could fulfill my destiny there. I had to return in order for the body to live. The sadness of that realization shook my very Soul, but I remembered my commitment. I had said that I would stay on Earth. Therefore, I had to return, before it was too late to save the life of my earthen form.

“The sudden density of the sarcophagus was a shock. How could I have returned so quickly without even a goodbye? And then my heart felt the love of my Home and my Divine Complement. Yes, there was no goodbye, for I would hold them in my consciousness, but what about the sarcophagus? There was even less oxygen and now I was fully physical.

“'How do you open the sarcophagus?'

“The third question was translated in my heart. Yes, in my heart was the answer—the jewel—the vibration of the jewel would raise the lid. And then, as I focused my attention upon the jewel within my heart, I heard my first physical sound since the three questions were spoken to me a lifetime ago. The sound was of the lid of the sarcophagus slowly rising. I felt the oxygen rushing to my rescue. Like a newborn infant, I took my first breath and sat up. “'You are free!' I heard Thoth say in Egyptian, my native tongue.


“After weeks of contemplating my initiation, I realized that my lessons now lay in finding the “spiritual” that dwells in the “physical” rather than in the “spiritual” alone. I told my teachers this, and they agreed with my decision. I retired to my small cell to meditate and felt my Inner Guide come to me at once.

“'Oh, Beloved Radula, help me. How can I accomplish this part of my destiny?'
“'You are to leave the Temple.'
“'No, no! How can I? It will be like leaving home,' I cried.
“'Exactly,' replied my guide. ‘The time comes when even children of the One must leave the
safety of home in order to find a new life. Your time is now!'

“I awoke from my meditation with a sense of anxiety. Where was I to go? How was I to unify and ground myself in the physical world? I had learned to unify and surrender myself to the spiritual world, but there had been many teachers to help me. Now I would be alone. On the Spiritual Path, there had been a longing, a call Home. But now, I felt compelled more by duty than by loving and longing, and I knew I must leave the Temple. Life there was too sheltered and my task could not be completed in that environment. The Temple was only partly physical, and, therefore, only partly my place of purpose.

“I suppose I could have stayed there, but it would have taken much longer to accomplish my task of grounding my spirit in matter. As they say in the physical, “time is of the essence.” I didn't know how long I could maintain my commitment to a Path that was so challenging to me. Even in the holy vibration of the Temple, the low vibration of the third dimension tended to distort the visions of my Initiation. I knew I must take the chance of venturing out into the world while my lessons were still strong in my memory - the greater the risk, the greater the victory.” And, most importantly, I had to follow my inner instructions.

“So with tears in my heart, I said goodbye to all that I had known and loved. I could not hope to make my many friends and companions understand why I had to leave, as I barely understood myself. Only Radula understood. So, without looking back, I left my beloved Temple, perhaps, forever. But what did forever mean? Now that I had traveled beyond time, many words had no meaning. How would I ever relate to the people of the world when I could barely relate to the rules of the physical plane? Many questions filled my mind as I left my beloved Temple behind me.

“The first six months could have been years or eons. My many activities were too inconsequential to note. The mundane responsibilities of life were unmanageable for me. I had never learned how to care for myself in the world. Getting and preparing food and finding a place to sleep was a new experience. All my physical needs had been taken care of in the Temple. Now that I was on my own in a world foreign to my mind, everything became a task and an effort. How was I to desire, much less gain, a sense of unity with a life that I could not even begin to understand?

“Many times I doubted my purpose, as well as my sanity. In fact, many believed I had failed my initiation and had been cast upon the streets instead of leaving of my own free will. They could not understand why I would try this unknown task. A Priest was supposed to stay in the Temple. He was not supposed to go out into the streets to help the people. The people were supposed to go to the Temple when they needed help. And, if they could not get to the Temple, they did not get the help. It was the will of the gods, and the people did not question it. In fact, I found that they did not question anything, except whether or not I was insane. I was attempting something that had never been done, and it frightened them. However, on the bright side, I felt an inner knowing that I was following my destiny. Therefore, I continued on my new path.

“Finally, I found a wonderful valley. The energy there was different from anywhere else I had experienced. In this valley I could feel some of the high vibrations that I had known in Temple life, but they were different. Perhaps they were more grounded in the earth, like I was learning to be. I found great joy in wandering the hills near my camp. There was a small pond with a magnificent tree next to it. I spent long hours in meditation under that tree. The energies of the Goddess began to enter into the base of my spine. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was a member of the physical plane. I began to achieve a relationship with Nature that was unknown in the Temple, where we constantly strove to leave our bodies and journey into the other worlds. I was beginning to understand the meaning of my inner directive.

“A few people gathered about me, though neither they nor I understood why. I lived very simply and in harmony with my environment. The people would bring me food and I would heal them or listen to them. Is there a difference between the two? A strange peace was growing within me that felt very much like the peace of the valley. I had spent my life finding a connection to Spirit, and now I was discovering a connection to the earth. I found that I was beginning to enjoy it.

“The people who came to me were special. I was close enough to the town that these people knew I had undergone my initiation. They also believed I had failed and had to leave the Temple. However, they still came, choosing to listen to an inner voice and ignoring the outer voices telling them I was insane. Some came out of curiosity and soon left. Most, however, came because of an inner call, and they were the ones who stayed.

“Gradually, people began to bring their sleeping mats or simple tents and camp with me. Our life was very peaceful. We rose at dawn to greet the Sun. Our ceremonies were simple and individual. Each person found a spot and greeted the Sun from that place every dawn. I knew not how they greeted it, as I was busy myself and had chosen not to observe them. If they told me, which they usually did, I listened without comment. When they asked my opinion, I referred them to their inner guidance. I told them all that their inner voice had guided them to me and would continue to guide them. I acted merely as an interpreter. Just as they had been led there, they would eventually be led away. I remained loving, yet detached. I knew that my earthly lesson was to stay detached from any public acclaim. However, I feared that part of my lesson might be to face the challenge of success and adulation.

“We ate what came to us and were as grateful for a meager meal, as we were for a feast. We knew that food was a taste that could corrupt. We were clear not to become attached to it. When the people had learned to heal themselves, they usually desired to learn how to heal others. I was sure that these were extraordinary people who had come to learn and not merely to be healed. Some remembered much of what I taught, and others were unable to retain what they had learned. I remained flexible so that I would not repeat what they already knew or push them too hard to learn new information.

“After a year or two the group had grown to about fifty people. Some came only once in a while, some regularly, and about twenty people lived there. I felt a restlessness beginning to stir within me, but I didn't know what it was. I knew that something was about to change, but I was not sure if it was my body, my environment, or even my consciousness. Unfortunately, I also knew that this change would not be easy, and I would have to warn the twenty who lived with me. I knew that certain members of the town were worried about what we were doing. I needed to be ready to move at any time.

“I finally told the twenty that it was time to leave. I could feel the growing discontentment of the town. Since we lived in such a simple manner, they refused to believe we were of the Light. Gold and jewels surrounded the Priests of the Temple. If the gods were on our side, why weren't we provided with material riches? The town members believed that they could not have spiritual powers without riches. Since they were unlikely to possess these riches, they would continue to believe that they had to go to the gods for power, as they could never find power by going within themselves.


“Unfortunately, I had stayed too long. Many angry and frightened people came upon us in the night. Four of the twenty were killed, and ten were wounded. The remaining six escaped into the night. The wounded ten and I went into the back lands to heal. Even though there was much violence, I was unharmed. I knew not why. Perhaps there was still some greater protection at work. I knew that the six who ran away would not return. I felt their disillusionment. Many of those who had not lived with us were also either disillusioned or afraid. A number of loyal friends psychically found our hiding place and brought us food, water, and news of the town. Some of them felt that it was their task to stay in the town and carry on the work in a silent way, and the rest would move on with us when all were healed.

“I discovered how difficult it was to maintain my belief in free will, and accept love, in the face of such adversity. In the Temple, the surroundings and superstitions about the gods and their Priests protected us. Here, all of my protection lay within me, and I always had to feel it so that I could protect the others. I felt responsible for the deaths and the injuries. If I had acted upon my inner prompting more quickly, I could have averted any injury. This was a hard lesson to learn. I would have to remember to instantly react to my inner guidance. I was not in the Temple, the land of gentle instruction. There might be only one warning, and the consequences could be merciless if one did not heed it.

“Our small community had disturbed the townspeople's sense of reality, and they had retaliated in a frightened, violent way. I had learned the hard way that my work had to be done quietly, away from those who were unable to accept a new reality. I learned that those who could not find comfort in their own beliefs would feel threatened by new ideas. One must first find the core of his/her own truth before embracing another. Old foundations must be uprooted before new ones can be laid. The people who had harmed us were not evil. They were afraid.

“When we began moving, some of the band decided to stay behind. I had spoken to all of them, individually and as a group. Most understood what had happened and were even relieved to know that I was human. However, some were looking for a god-person and could not bear to learn of my frailties. These people would not be coming with us. I had determined to always discuss my human emotions and misgivings with my group. It helped me to understand the human part of myself, and it also guarded against adulation from the members of the group. I did not wish to have the burden of being anyone's god. I was merely a teacher and a guide. I understood from my Temple work that humility had not been one of my strong suits in past lives, and I needed to endeavor to hone that virtue.


“After many months of traveling, the numbers in our band had decreased further. Finally, we found a place were we could stay for a while. We had traveled through many barren lands, and finally found ourselves in a small, tropical oasis. There was water and fruit. Also, caravans traveled through this area and would gladly trade their staples for a healing, dried fruit, and whatever other services we could provide. The oasis was quite large and we could be far away from where the caravans filled up their water. Therefore, only those who followed an inner call actually arrived at our camp. Usually, one or two of us would go to the watering area and offer a trade. Several of the group could read auras quite well. They would always go along to see if there was danger. We were getting wiser and more careful.

“After about six months, I sensed it was time to move on again. This time I would not wait too long. The word of our work had spread and many had come especially to be healed or to learn. However, there had been increasing problems with the caravan leaders who feared we were somehow a threat. We had found a valley with water two days' walk away. We could come to the oasis solely to trade while we carried on our other activities at a safe distance. I wondered when the wandering would cease. Were we forever destined to move farther and farther away so as not to offend others?

“The transfer of locations went quite easily. All of us did our part. We could see now that this was a much better spot. There was a small stream that arose from the ground at the top of a low hill and stayed on the surface long enough to form a fair-sized pool before it again became subterranean. One of the women in the group gave birth to a male child. We then had our first natural citizen. Citizen of what, I did not know, but it appeared that some sort of community was beginning to form. I didn't know how new people got there, but they came on a regular basis. Some of them had heard about us from traders and, somehow, the word spread to others. A few came by divine guidance, as they could not remember how they had found us.

“Then one day, a Prince from a faraway land came to us with several of his bodyguards. I had an uncertain feeling about this event. I knew that it would lead to some new development, and I didn't think I would care much for it. However, I was there to follow instructions from within, and I was beginning to be at peace with allowing each new development to formulate on its own. The Prince began coming regularly. He had a rare genetic disease that he believed I could cure. He had come to us because of a dream and recognized me instantly. I told him that his karma had dictated this disease to him, and his task was to fulfill this karma. Once his karma was balanced, the disease would be cured. However, I did not know if this cure would come in life or in death. I had grown very fond of the Prince and was having trouble maintaining my objectivity. I had to constantly remind myself to accept the decision of his Soul and not to hold any fear or sadness.

“The Prince and I talked many times. As we looked into his other lives, we found that he had been very hard-hearted and could not see the suffering of others. Therefore, in this life his heart was not of sufficient elasticity. We finally decided that in order to balance his karma, he was to live among his people as a peasant for one year. We felt that if he lived through this, his condition would improve—if he allowed himself to recognize, and be sympathetic to, other's pain. The Prince's father, of course, was not happy about this agreement, but he would do anything to try to heal his son. I was to travel with him as often as I could. This would mean considerable hardship, as the journey was long and dangerous, but I felt I must continue as the Path unfolded.

“After almost a year, the Prince was much better. Soon his healing would be complete, and he would return to help his father rule. This was none too soon, as the father was very old and ready to leave the physical plane. I tried to prepare the Prince for this possibility, but he was resistant to hearing it. I feared this would be the final, and most difficult test, for the Prince. He had become a very dear man, and I was sure he would be a kind and just ruler. I doubted he could attain the wisdom of a Pharaoh, but he would fulfill his destiny to the best of his potential. This was all one could do in any life.


“Finally, the year was completed. The Prince had just returned to his home when his father died. I spoke with his father on the other side and found that he had known all along of his impending death, which was the only reason why he had agreed to my plan. The plan had been very successful. The Prince spoke with his father before he died and was able to face his death bravely. I was happy for the Prince, who was now the King. He had grown from being sick and frightened to a strong and virile man. The new King wished me to begin a Temple for him to provide healing and education for his people. I would do so. But as soon as it was started, I would leave some of my most advanced pupils to run it, and then I would move on.

“The King had given me free reign to teach as I wished, and I soon found myself in quite a position of power. He built me a beautiful Temple, and there were many Priests and Priestesses beneath me. I was the High Priest, and there was no one to put me in my place. The schools were successful, and the people were remarkably open to my teachings. Many wished to worship me and make me something that I was not. The recognition and praise was more of a threat than a treasure, and I constantly monitored my feelings to note any speck of clinging to earthly prizes. I called constantly to my Inner Guide to keep me balanced and to keep my consciousness centered. But, despite my efforts, I began to fear the call of the riches, adulation, and comfort. I feared them because I began to enjoy them—too much.

“There had been no fear in me in the wilderness, but even though I missed the days of solitude in nature, I never left my luxurious Temple. In the lap of luxury, fear—and yes, arrogance—began to invade my consciousness. I worked very hard to purify myself, but each day the wealth and recognition altered my mind and hardened my heart. Gradually, I began to change. I was torn. Should I stay there and continue my work, or should I retreat into the wilderness to save my Soul?

“Before I knew it, it was too late. I began to wear the golden garments, and I decorated my quarters like a palace. The food I ate was the best in the kingdom, and I starting looking at women as if they were something to be taken. I knew I could leave, but also knew that I would not. I found it more and more difficult to reach my Inner Guide and could not understand what was said when I did. Deep inside me I knew I could not understand their message because I did not want to hear it. Somewhere in my Soul I had always known that my test would be to maintain my purity and humility despite the power, fame and wealth brought by worldly success and recognition. Even though I had suspected such a challenge, I had failed. I lived this way for several decades.

“Then one evening, I had a dream. I dreamed of Radula. The Guide that I had forgotten had somehow gotten through my resistance and touched my consciousness. Standing mutely before me, Radula displayed a scene of an old man dying alone in the desert. I awoke with a start, but could not move. Slowly, my years as a High Priest were reviewed in my mind. And then I remembered my young ideals and ethics. I felt old and tired. How could this have happened? How could I have lost myself to the temptations of the flesh? Were the ways of the world so tempting, or was I just weaker than I suspected?

“I prayed to Radula to return, but there was no response. I was starving among the most delicious of foods and thirsting amongst the finest of wines. My heart was aching while a kingdom loved me, and I was poverty-stricken while anything I touched could be mine. The rich foods and fine drinks had weakened me. Many years of using only my mind while others waited upon my body had made me dependent on the comfort and softness of the life I had created. I even had three wives and had fathered five children without being a parent to any of them. How had I lost control of my life in such a way? My anguish was my secret since I had grown dependent upon the worship of others and could not allow anyone to see me vulnerable, even my old friend the King.

“The fine foods sickened me, and the drinks nauseated me. The women bored me, and the soft environment suffocated me. What was to become of my Soul? I longed to return to the simple days of the wilderness. Perhaps if I returned there I could regain what I had lost. I had grown soft and weak in both body and mind. I was so tormented that I became ill. A fever raged for many days, and I suffered the death of the old man alone in the wilderness again and again. Finally, I vowed that if my health returned, I would return to my roots, no matter what. The next day, I awoke, totally cured. My answer had come. I must journey alone into the desert.

“I told no one of my plans. I gave my riches to the poor, except for what was necessary to take care of my children and their mothers. I feared that they hated me because they did not agree with what I thought was ‘enough'. But, I couldn't leave them to the corruption of my riches. I feared I still had no love for them, but I wished them well as I left alone at dawn and traveled into the desert.


“After about a week of travel, I found a small oasis and settled in to find my Self. At last I felt contentment in my beloved wilderness. The beauty of nature far surpassed the riches of man. Every being in nature spoke to me as an individual. There was no deification or jealousy. I was simply a member of the society of earth. I had left the Temple with only a beast and a few provisions, and soon the food was gone. As an Initiate, I had learned to go many days without food or water, but now I could not raise my vibration enough. Nor did I wish to. As I traveled alone, I had come to realize that I had gone into the desert to die. It was I who was the old man dying in the wilderness. Gradually, I allowed the life force to leave my body. When all my food was gone, the hunger that I suffered was one of purification and cleansing, as the weight of ‘success' fell from my body. I let the beast go so that it could find its way home, and I gradually slipped into the delirium of starvation and fever. I had regained contact with Radula. The love of my Guide was more important than the adulation of an entire kingdom. In just a few more days, I would be spent of the Earth.

“Maybe I had given up or, maybe, I had followed a divine directive. I would only know for sure on the other side. I could not continue any longer. The vital energy had left my body and now hovered just above my heart. To some, my life was a great success. To others, it was a complete failure. At that point, I could not tell which was right. I had done the impossible, and it had destroyed me. The last two days were as long as my entire life. I had surveyed every moment of it and wished I could return for corrections. However, I was now too weak to get the water that was not far away, and hunger had long since left me. On the seventh day, I left my body completely. As I took my last breath, I already felt lonely for the body that I must leave. I felt great anguish for the end of my life. All I could do was ask forgiveness.

“I called to Radula for forgiveness and understanding. The last thing I saw was the Prince, who was now the King, rushing to save me.


“I opened my eyes thinking that I would see the higher worlds, but instead all I saw was the inside of the sarcophagus.

“'NO!' I screamed. I was very confused and disoriented. Where was I? Was I in a grave, sealed alive to slowly suffocate? I began to lose all control of my emotions and went into a state of panic. I pushed at the lid and hammered on the sides around me, but the more I struggled, the smaller the space became and the less oxygen there was to fill my lungs. I started to cough and grasp for air. I was dying. The box around me became smaller and smaller until I could no longer struggle, as there was no space. The lid was inches above my nose. However, the absolute restriction calmed me.

“ I slowed my breathing and tried to remember how I got in this place, but I could not. My mind was blank, my memory gone. Slowly, something began to grow in my heart—a feeling. At last, I realized it was a feeling of love. At first it was far, far away and more like a memory than an emotion. When I attached my attention to it, the feeling grew stronger and closer. At last, it emanated from deep within my heart. Yes, it was Love, the most beautiful love that I could ever remember. A voice, clear as a bell and soft as the morning breeze whispered to my Soul. I recognized it before I could understand the words. It was my Divine Complement.

“'It is your initiation, Beloved. You are inside of the sarcophagus, and the life that you just lived
was an illusion, a portion of your initiation.'”
“Her ‘feel' and her words calmed my Soul and, gradually, I began to remember.
“'Beloved,' I spoke in a whisper, ‘if you had not come to me, I would have died. In fact, I still may if I
don't remember how to raise the lid. But if I die with you, I will be content.'”
“'You needn't die, my One. What you need to do is correct your mistake. Find where you began to
make your choices from fear rather than from Love and re-enter the illusion to change your

“Yes, I mused. When did I forget about Love? When did I change my intention? I went back over the life again and again, becoming increasingly aware of the diminishing oxygen level in the sarcophagus. I realized that I had to go into a meditation and raise my vibration back into the fourth dimension because my third dimensional form could no longer survive in the confines of the sarcophagus. My ego was having a difficult time rising above fear. In response to my thoughts, my Divine Complement began to sing gently into my heart. She sang songs of Venus and of Arcturus, our home before we went to Venus. Yes, I had forgotten Arcturus. I had forgotten the frequency of unconditional love that was the emanation of that reality.

“I began to feel my consciousness raising. I felt my form as pure light and again the trapped, physical form was but a memory. My Complement and I were one again. We were complete and androgynous and traveling into the higher dimensions. We saw the Crystal City of Venus below us, but we continued on. Then, we saw before us a beautiful vortex filled with violet and golden light. The vortex pulled us into it, and we were deep in the void beyond the vortex. All was still, completely and blissfully still. We were a small speck of consciousness in a void of raw potential. In this void, there were no emotions and no thoughts. There was no movement and no time. For eternity we stayed floating free in the void.

“Then gradually, off in the recesses of our consciousness came a thought. The thought was followed by a sound, and then by a speck of light. The light became a star and the star became Arcturus. The star was far away, deep inside of our consciousness. We felt the love of it, and allowed that love to act as a tractor beam to pull us closer and closer to our true Home. The reunion with unconditional love was so intense that it seemed to create an inner explosion that repelled us out of the void, beyond the vortex, past Venus and back into ancient Egypt. I cried out in anguish thinking that I had lost my Divine Complement, but I instantly heard her comforting voice.

“'We are complete, Beloved. I am alive within you, and I will always remind you to remember unconditional love.”

“Reassured, I took a moment to find where in my vision I had arrived. I focused my attention to clear my inner perception and saw the King standing before me. He had just offered to build a Temple for me so that I might be the High Priest and spiritual leader of his kingdom. It was at that moment that I felt the reactions of fear come into my heart and mind, and my intentions shifted from love to fear. What I had missed before now resonated deep inside my consciousness. I was afraid—afraid of my own corruption.

“Through all of my teachings and initiations, there had been an engram, a core belief, hiding in my deep unconscious. It said: ‘Matter corrupts Spirit.' I was afraid that recognition and riches would corrupt me. This fear went unnoticed and seeped into my consciousness like a poison. Where once I had felt unity with all life, I began to feel separation and limitation. I became separate from those who built and served in the Temple and limited in my ability to view my greater Self. My thinking became polarized into good and bad, light and dark. Gradually, comparison, competition, judgment and jealousy became a portion of my mental life while resentment and anger filled my emotions. I longed for the simple illumination of my life in the wilderness where I had felt united with all life and had allowed my Soul's purpose to unfold before me.

“It was the rejoining with my Divine Complement and our journey Home to Arcturus that allowed me to return to that pivotal moment in my initiation vision and uproot the cause of my demise. I then understood that this vision was a preview of my divine mission, a rehearsal where I could find my hidden enemy—my hidden fear! Where had this engram/core belief, held tightly to my consciousness with fear, come from? I knew that I had to find the cause in order to heal it so I looked back upon my childhood.

“When I was a small child and still living with my parents, I saw that they were very poor. My father had great difficulty in finding fulfillment in his life. He had studied to be a scribe, but he lacked the necessary discipline and often found himself without work. He had married beneath his class, as my mother was from a family of farmers. However, it was her diligence and ability to grow food for the family, and even to sell at the marketplace, that provided the only security we had. As a small child, I often heard them argue because, when my father did get work, he took the money and gambled it away.

“When I went to the Temple, I thought that I felt guilty for abandoning my mother to her difficult life. Actually the truth was that I felt guilty because I was happy to leave a home with so much quarreling and so little love. From my parents I learned that lack of material comfort could destroy the spiritual connection of a relationship. I imagined that my mother was actually the nurturing, kind mother I wished she had been, and I blamed my father for robbing me of that mother. I believed that it was his selfish and addictive ways that had ruined my early years.

“When I entered the Temple, I quickly forgot my parents and my unhappy childhood. In all the years in the Temple, I never healed this childhood pain because I had ignored the life I was currently living and, instead, focused on my past lives. Therefore, a weak place began to grow in my consciousness. A place where I had hidden my secret childhood fears that my father cared more for money than for me. This childhood fear then expanded into my hidden adult fear that I cared more for success and adulation than I cared for my Soul. These fears bonded with my thoughts and a powerful engram grew, which unconsciously molded my behavior and my life. Because it was an unconscious fear, it was even stronger, as I could not monitor it. My challenge in my initiation was to find this hidden enemy so that I could disarm it with my love force, but I had forgotten the unconditional love of my Higher Selves and the power this love held. Gradually, I became lost in my secret fears of corruption.

“My Divine Complement came to me to remind me that my physical body, my matter, was only the grounded portion of my Spirit. What I had to do to heal my earth-bound vessel was to connect it, consciously, to my myriad spiritual vessels. I was not a physical being having a spiritual experience. I was a spiritual being having a physical experience. With that knowledge, I could remember to love my grounded vehicle, love my mother, my father and, most important, love my Spirit.

“As I returned to re-live my vision, I would remember that I was a Multi-dimensional Being. This time I would maintain the memory of and communication with my true, Multidimensional SELF. I would keep continuous connection with my sixth dimensional self in Arcturus, my fifth dimensional self in Venus, and my Divine Complement.

“ I would hold the anchor in the third dimension while my Complement was anchored in the fourth. While I took responsibility for the daily activities of Temple life, she would direct the flow of Spirit as we grounded our fifth dimensional Venusian life in the foundations of the Temple and blessed it with the unconditional love from our Source in Arcturus. With this alignment, fear could not take root in my consciousness. I was now aware of my fear, and I could keep it as a guardian to remind me to stay connected to my SELF, guard against corruption and surround myself with love.

“I heard my Divine Complement's voice, ‘Allow the Love from within to meet the Love from without in a joyous union of Spirit into Matter.'

“I smiled inside my heart. Yes, I would allow her love into my physical body. In that way, we could become merged while I still held a third dimensional form. Together we would gestate, nurture, and protect the Temple of my vision with unconditional love. My Divine Complement would be kept close in my heart and mind to remind me that I was of my SELF. Together we could transcend the separation and limitations of the third dimension. I was ready now.

“'Yes, I will go with you,” I spoke to the King. “We will build a Temple for healing and enlightenment so that all who enter may learn that love is stronger than fear, and Spirit is alive in all matter!'

“In response, I heard the lid of the sarcophagus begin to raise.”

Dear Initiates,

I thank you for listening to my story. In closing, I encourage you to remember that our greatest enemy is the fear that we have hidden deep inside. If that fear can be brought to our awareness, it can be loved free. Please, accept now the greatest lesson of my life: Love is stronger than fear, and Spirit is alive in all matter!

I direct you now to the Arcturians, who guide us all into the Light.

Suzan Caroll



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